Wednesday, 2 November 2011

Martin Johnson's Rugby World Cup Diary

Sunday 28th August 2011

Flying out tomorrow to New Zealand, can't wait everyone is so excited. The boys are really up for this one. Can't wait to see some amazing sights too. Some of the lads are talking about bungee jumping, but I told them I've done that loads of times before and getting a little too old for all that, truth is I'm bloody petrified. I'd much rather take a stroll round the Botanical Gardens or go and see the animals at Auckland Zoo. Sooooooo excited going to get some well needed beauty sleep ready for the morning.

Monday 5th September 2011

Preparation is going well, only 5 days until our first game against the Argies. I'm feeling confident, although I still feel New Zealand are going to be the team to beat. I've studied them religiously over the past week and I want us to be more like them, so I've asked that we play in black, New Zealand weren't keen on the idea so it's just going to be the one game. We've also been working on our own choreographed war dance but some of the lads lack co-ordination.

Sunday 11th September 2011

Good win against Argentina, a bit edgy but we won and that's all that matters. After a tough first game yesterday I said to the boys that they can go into to town for a few drinks to unwind, but not to let it get out of hand and they said 'Of course not boss'. They respect me, they're good lads.

Monday 12th September 2011

What a shit day, the media were at my door early this morning asking questions. The fucking idiots went out until the early hours of the morning, getting drunk, kissing dwarfs and chucking blondes, or something like that. We've had a chat and I've told them that this kind of thing can not happen and we must not draw unwanted media attention again on this trip.

Saturday 24th September 2011

3 out of 3 and a convincing win against the Romanians today, that should get the nation back onside after Dwarfgate. Johnny's kicking was spot on, back to his best. Chilling out in the room with my favourite book, Martin Johnson: The Autobiography.

Monday 26th September 2011

Just when things have calmed down with the press we've been accused of ball switching in the Romania game. Admittedly we did give Johnny his favourite balls to kick with but is it really that big a deal, anyway I've apologised and want to draw a line under it asap.

Thursday 29th September 2011

Big game on Saturday against the Jocks, if we win we're through to the Quarter Finals. The lads are in great spirits and seem to be having good banter with the hotel staff. One of the girls even let them use the walky talkies which was nice.

Saturday 1st October 2011

That was a close one but we beat the Scots and now face France in the Quarter finals. I'm proud of the boys and as a little treat I got each of their wive's and girlfriend's to record a video message for them. Unfortunately for Mike Tindall I couldn't get a response from his wife Zara Phillips, not sure why. I gave him a copy of my autobiography, that should cheer him up.

Monday 3rd October 2011

More bad press! This time one of the girls working at our hotel has made a complaint about 3 of the guys, saying they were making crude sexual comments towards her using a walky talkie. She has gone to the bloody papers and now I've had to do another press conference apologising. I'm not sure whether to believe it or not, I mean she wasn't much of a looker. Anyway, I've had a chat with the three lads and told them that this kind of behaviour is not acceptable and to concentrate on the Rugby.

Saturday 8th October 2011

We are out of the tournament, beaten by the French. The lads and I are gutted we just couldn't do it on the day. Already the media are speculating on me being sacked as coach, but I deserve more of a chance to prove I can be the man to lead this team forward, plus what else will I do, the wife's already told me she doesn't want me hanging around the house all day. Looking forward to going home now, it's been a miserable month for us, just want to get on that ferry and have a nice quiet trip back without any incidents.

No comments:

Post a Comment