Tuesday, 6 December 2011


Scientists have revealed today that long standing entertainment host Bruce Forsyth could be the first human being in history to live forever.

This remarkable discovery came from Thomas Steinbeck a leading scientist in America. Thomas and his team did a number of tests on the 83 year old and were astonished to find he has the heart of a clam, a sea creature known to live up to 400 years. This combined with a willingness to stay on TV and recycle old jokes could see the Strictly Come Dancing host live way in to the future. Steinbeck of Michigan University said "It's hard to say for definite if this will happen, but the British people should prepare for the fact that Brucie isn't going anywhere for a while". Asked how this project came about Steinbeck added "People close to Bruce wanted to know why he had so much enthusiasm and energy for his age, so they approached me to see if there was anything extraordinary about Bruce and low and behold there was".

This news has already been met with discontent among the public, Darren Southerby from Surrey was not best pleased and said "Of all the people for this to happen to, he's already doing my head in and I'm 15, I would probably watch Strictly if it wasn't for him and now to find out he's going to be around for the rest of my life is pretty gutting".

There are already plans for Brucie, as he's known, to host Strictly Come Dancing in space, which is predicted to air in approximately 15 years. The star has also been working on some more catch phrases for his long-term future these are set to include, 'Me again,'  'Didn't I do well' and  'Nice to still be here to still be here nice'.

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