WHY ALWAYS ME? BALOTELLI'S MUM TIRED OF CLEARING UP AFTER HIM!

Controversial Manchester City striker Mario Balotelli hit the headlines earlier in the season when he revealed a T-shirt saying 'Why Always Me' after scoring against rivals United, but now it seems his mum is asking the same question.  


In an exclusive interview with sky sports news, Mrs Balotelli said she was sick of doing everything round the house and ordered her son to help her out more or find somewhere else to live. "Why is it always me who cooks dinner, why is it always me who does the washing, the ironing, etc etc, he treats this place like a hotel, it's time for him to grow up and take responsibility for himself". Mrs Balotelli also revealed that she hasn't seen a penny of the rent for last month even though the Italian earns around a 100k a week. "I've asked him numerous times for some money this month and still nothing, god knows what he's spending it on, I really hope it's not going on strippers again as I've already had a chat with him about that".


Former Inter Milan striker, Balotelli has hit the headlines on numerous occasions this season, most recently  for his behaviour in the defeat to Arsenal in which he could have been sent off three times. Luckily for Balotelli he was just sent off once because those are the rules of the game. His tackling was dangerous and his frustration reached boiling point. Mario's temper troubles are not just on the pitch, his mother also said his anger issues are a problem at home and has pleaded with him to go to anger management classes. "He needs to go and get help for this, said his desperate mother. "The other day when I told him we had run out of chocolate Nesquick, he kicked the coffee table so hard he ended up hurting himself, which resulted in him rolling around on the floor for ten minutes, it's just ridiculous".


Asked if she would throw Mario out on the street if his behaviour continued, Mrs Balotelli said "I'll always defend him, he's my son and he's a good guy, but if he does not change in the future, then he we'll lose everything. If he doesn't understand this after all these years I can do nothing. I hope for him he can improve around the house and just help me a bit more and understand that he can't continue to treat me like this".

EASTER AN-EGG-DOTES

Here are some rather interesting and funny anecdotes involving Easter that I have received randomly by E-mail.

My name is Mr Hunt and I am a primary school teacher and last year as a little fun for the children I dressed up as an Easter Egg and hid in the school playground while the pupils tried to find me, we called the whole exercise an Easter Egg Hunt as a pun on my name. The kids didn't really get it but I thought it was bloody hilarious.

C. Hunt, Torquay

A few years ago I dated this girl called Karen, she was pretty, funny, intelligent, everything I could wish for in a girlfriend, but after a few months she became more and more obsessive, calling and texting me constantly throughout my day and getting insanely jealous if I even looked at a member of the opposite sex. Eventually I decided to break it off with her. Shortly afterwards I was invited to a 30th birthday party on Good Friday, it was to be fancy dress and Easter was the theme, my flatmate Ed was going as the Easter bunny and was ready waiting for me at the flat, I was running late after being stuck at work, when I got a text from Karen telling me she was at the flat with Ed . I immeadetley began to panic and rushed back, but it was too late, there was Ed boiling in the saucepan.   

Mark, Gateshead

I heard this story, I'm not sure if its entirely true but some of my friends swear by it, there was this man who lived in the area years ago and apparently he was nailed to a wooden cross or something by a load of nasty people for lying to them or something. Anyway it was a complete over-reaction and he was pronounced dead at the scene, well this was on the Friday. The family obviously were devastated and planning to have him buried when suddenly on the Sunday two days later, he came back to life. Amazing.


Cheryl, Bethlehem



I work in an office and all the staff decided this year we would all quit something for lent, some stopped smoking, others stopped drinking, I decided to stop shagging all the blokes in the office, which hasn't been easy I can tell you. Anyway there is this girl called Martha, who bless her is rather large and not to mention stinks of TCP, she said she was giving up Easter eggs for lent, what comes after lent? Easter! we just fell about the place.


Kirstie,  Liverpool


I once saw Take That's Gary Barlow eating a Cadbury's Creme Egg at Kew Gardens. He made a right mess of it as well.

Howard, Kew Gardens

EASTER EGGHEADS

Ever wondered what BBC TWO'S fountain of knowledge the Eggheads favourite chocolate Easter Egg is, well wait no longer.

 Kevin Ashman - "It's just got to be Cadbury's Twirl"

Chris Hughes - "It's Wispa all the way for me"

Pat Gibson - "I love em all but Cadbury's Mini Eggs take some beating"

Daphne Fowler - "It's all about the Kit Kat Chunky, I'm all over it"

CJ de Mooi - "No question about it, M&S' luxury Egg nest"

     

Barry Simmons - "Tough one, I'm going for Flake though, it's yummy in my tummy"

    

Judith Keppel - "What a ridiculous question, everyone knows it's Charbonnel et Walker Dark Chocolate Egg with champagne truffles"

THE DRINKS CABINET

Here we take a look at some of the hardened drinkers that grace our 'Great' British Government.


Mark Reckless - Conservative Politician


Reckless by name, reckless by nature, that's because when the member of parliament for Rochester and Strood get's a drink inside him anything can happen. Some nights he's up to until 11.30pm.


Fave Drink- Dry white wine.


Most Drunk In One Night-  A bottle and a half of Pinot Grigio.


Fave Nightspot- House of Commons bar.


Memorable Drunken Moment- Got wired in the commons bar and missed a budget vote.


Party Trick - Building a fort with beer mats.


Famous Drunken Quote- "I'm vely vely drunk".




Eric Joyce - Labour Politician


The feisty 51 year old Scot is not to be messed with, especially after a night on the sauce. If talk turns to politics, anyone from opposition parties are advised to steer clear. Big Eric is barred from nearly all of the top nightspots frequented by politicians.


Fave Drink - Stella and Whisky


Most Drunk In One Night - 10 pints of Stella, 4 large Famous Grouse whisky's, 3 suicide Tequila's and a Jaeger Bomb.


Fave Nightspot - Any place which will let him in.


Memorable Drunken Moment - Punched and head butted a conservative MP after he looked at him the wrong way.


Party Trick - Biting through a glass bottle.


Famous Drunken Quote - "See you Jimmy".




Paul Farrelly - Labour Politician


The Newcastle born MP loves to be the centre of attention on nights out and often get's the party started by ordering a round of shots and being the first up to sing on karaoke.



Fave Drink - Brown Ale and Vodka Jelly's.


Most Drunk In One Night - 6 bottles of Brown Ale and 14 Vodka Jelly's. 


Fave Nightspot - The Parliament Sports and Social Club.


Memorable Drunken Moment - Wrestled with a man outside the social club after he heckled his karaoke version of Ant and Dec's 'Lets Get Ready To Rumble'.


Party Trick - Can get 5 Vodka Jelly's in his mouth at one time.


Famous Drunken Quote - "I fucking love you Miliband".




Sheryll Murray - Conservative Politician

The Member of Parliament for South East Cornwall is a professional career driven woman, but get a drink inside her and she turns into a loud mouthed embarrassment.


Fave Drink -  Watermelon Bacardi Breezer.


Most Drunk In One Night - Bottle of Lambrini and 6 Bacardi Breezer.


Fave Nightspot - House of Commons Terrace Restaurant and Bar.


Memorable Drunken Moment - Was rude to the Commons doorkeeper when he tried to help her up off the floor.


Party Trick - Resting a pint between her breasts.


Famous Drunken Quote - "I ain't done nuffink".


Charles Kennedy - Liberal Democrat Politician


The former leader of the Liberal Democrats is always up for a drink, whether that be morning, noon or night. The problem for Kennedy is that work often get's in the way of his drinking.



Fave Drink - Anything with more than 10% abv.


Most Drunk in One Night - Due to obscene amounts of alcohol consumption the quantity is unknown.


Fave Nightspot - Hyde Park, second bench on the left.


Memorable Drunken Moment - Caught smoking on a train after playing pub golf. 


Party Trick - Making drinks disappear down his gullet in quick time.


Famous Drunken Quote - "What time is it? It's rehab time!".